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A Typical eBay Customer Service Exchange???

This is an ongoing email exchange between my wife Patti (the seller - pjburt) and eBay's "Technical Support/Customer Service". I could have simply copy and pasted it into this page but I fixed some of the formatting and hilighted portions to make it easier to read.  I did not fix any spelling or grammatical errors.
This is an ongoing exchange so I will be adding to it as we receive additional "help".


SEPTEMBER 26, 2008

Patti's original conversation with Live Help:

Patti: 
The "Sell Your Item Form"  "Edit" page is loading incompletely when I try to revise my items
#230292130729 and #230292461396.  My Browser is Firefox 2.


LIVE HELP: 
I have looked at your Item pages and see you are having a problem.  "Your problem is most peculiar!"  I cannot help you with this.  You will have to contact Technical Support  at (Contact email Support link).

-----------------------------------

Patti's Original Email to Tech Support - SEPTEMBER 26, 2008

The "Sell Your Item Form"  "Edit" page is loading incompletely when I try to revise my items #230292130729 and #230292461396. 
My Browser is Firefox 2.


Customer Service Response #1 - Sept. 26, 2008
RE: GS%T00030 Site issue (General issues) [A97 ?01 ]

eBay Customer Support wrote: 
Dear Patricia,
Thank you for writing eBay in regard to facing problem while revising your item.
I understand your concern and I'll be glad to help you in resolving this.
It seem the issue you are experiencing is an Browser Centric. This can be rectified by enabling JavaScript and Clearing Cache and Cookies of your Web Browser.

(a) To enable JavaScript of your Web Browser, please follow these steps:
 
You may want to check the JavaScript settings for Firefox. To make sure you are accepting JavaScript, please follow the steps below:

1. Click on the "Tools" option in the top menu.
2. Click on "Options."
3. Click the "Web Features" button located on the left-hand side.
4. Make sure that "Enable JavaScript" and "Enable Java" are checked.
If they are not, click the box to the right of each option until they are checked.
5. Click on the "OK" button.
Once you have completed these steps, you should be able to list your item.

(b) Secondly, If the problem still persist please follow the below steps to clear your browser's Cache and Cookies. To clear the cache for the FireFox browser, please follow the steps below.

1. Go to Tools > Options.
2. Click "Privacy" in the menu on the left side of the Options window.
3. Click the "Cache" tab.
4. Click "Clear Cache Now"
5. Click the "OK" button to close the Options window.

If you are using a Macintosh, please follow the directions below:

1. Open the preferences panel. Click on "Mozilla" in the toolbar, then on "Preferences."
2. Click on the arrow next to "Advanced."
3. Click on the "Cache" subcategory, located below "Advanced." You may have to use the scroll bars to view this category.
4. Click on the "Clear Cache" button located on the main preferences panel.

To clear the cookies for the FireFox browser, please follow the steps below.

1. Go to Tools > Options.
 2. Click "Privacy" in the menu on the left side of the Options window.
3. Click the "Cookies" tab.
4. Click "Clear Cookies Now"
5. Click the "OK" button to close the Options window.

If you are using a Macintosh, please follow the directions below:

1. Open the preferences panel. Click on "Mozilla" in the toolbar, then on "Preferences."
2. Click on the arrow next to "Advanced."
3. Click on the "Cache" subcategory, located below "Advanced." You may have to use the scroll bars to view this category.
4. Click on the "Clear Cookies" button located on the main preferences panel.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,  Jason P. L.
eBay Customer Support



Patti's Response #1 - October 1, 2008

Firstly:   I am not listing a new item, I am trying to revise Items  230292130729 and 230292461396.
I had to end my listing for Item 230293056526 and relist it in order for it to show correctly, but I have not yet relisted the other two that are showing up incorrectly.

Secondly:  My JavaScript is always enabled, otherwise all my other eBay pages would not be loading correctly either.
I know how to clear my Cache and Cookies - that is the first thing I did but  it did not solve the problem.

Something is wrong with the eBay coding on the first Revision page
for the 3 items in question. When I originally listed them there was nothing wrong with the pages in question.  The problem is eBay's - not mine.

If an eBay Technician looks at the HTML Source on those pages they will probably be able to see the problem.

 If you can't help me then I will have to relist them and then ask Billing to credit my listing fees for having to prematurely end Items 230292130729,  230292461396 and 230293056526.

Customer Service Response #2 - October 1, 2008

eBay Customer Support wrote:

Dear Patricia,
Thank you for writing eBay in regard to the difficulties you are facing with revising item numbers 230292130729 and 230292461396. >> >> I can understand how this situation can be frustrating and I regret the inconvenience caused to you due to this. However, I realize the importance of getting this resolved for you.

Patricia, I am sorry for any additional delay in getting this resolved for you, but before we can diagnose this problem, I need to ask you a few key questions. I appreciate your patience in answering them. The more information I can get from you, the easier it will be to solve this:

1. What operating system are you using? (Window 98, Windows XP, or Mac OS8)
2. What type of browser and browser version do you use? (For example, Netscape 6.0 or MSIE 5.5.) You can find this by opening your browser window and clicking on Help > About
3. Do you have a firewall? If yes, please give further details.
4. Are you running any Antivirus software?
5. Do you have any spyware detection software on your computer?
6. Lastly, can you please tell us what programs you have running on your computer when you attempt to access ebay?       
To find this, press Control + Alt + Delete and click on the Task Manager button.

Once we receive this additional information, I will be happy to pass it onto our technical department to review. We will work to get this problem solved for you as quickly as possible.

For immediate assistance, you also have the option of contacting our Live Chat team. Live Help lets you chat one-on-one with an online representative who can help you right away with most issues. Links to Live Help appear throughout the eBay site, including the Home page and the Sell Your Item form. Clicking one of these links will connect you to a private chat room
>> >> where you can ask an eBay representative your question -- live. Live Help is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To reach Live Help, go to:http://pages.ebay.com/help/basics/n-livehelpemail.html
1. Click the "Get Help Now!" button.
It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,  Victor A.
eBay Customer Support


Patti's Response #2 - October 1, 2008
Dear Victor,
Thank you for replying so quickly to me in regard to the difficulties I was facing with revising item numbers 230292130729 and 230292461396. I can understand how this situation can be frustrating for you,  and I regret the inconvenience caused to you due to this. However, I realize the importance of your getting this resolved for me so that you can fulfill your quota for the day, be a very courteous and competent worker and not get terminated. Of course I had already spoken to Live Help  before contacting  you with my first email,  and LIVE HELP is who told me I had to contact  "Technical Support".  They said - and I quote - "Your problem is most peculiar!"

So now Victor is telling me he going to refer me to the Technical department?  Ooops - I thought you WERE the Technical Department! Please understand that I am in total sympathy with your personal work situation and  realize it is not your fault - you are doing what your  Supervisors tell you,  and that is to reply as politely as possible with a set of answers that may have absolutely NOTHING  to do with the problem.

Do you know something Victor?  Sending emails to eBay Support is like asking how to bake a cake and getting answers that you found in a Car Repair Manual:  Like.... "How long do I whip the batter with the eggs in it" and you answer "Remove all the spark plugs and check to be sure they are clean".....

If Live Support had  directed me to a REAL Technical Support Department in the first place the REAL Techie would have  looked at the listings in question and would have IMMEDIATELY seen that the reason the page was not allegedly "loaded completely or correctly" is because I had already sold one of of the ten items on that listing....and eBay had shut down certain parts of the page.

Now what have we learned from this my dear Victor?

1.  I have learned to read my eBay Rules more carefully.  I have also learned to NEVER,  EVER again contact "Support"  because they are no help whatsoever and only result in total frustration on my part.

2.  And YOU, Dear Victor,  and everyone else in Support Services should have learned that  you should NEVER, EVER tell eBay Members that you are referring them to  "Technical Support"  because you all know there IS no Technical Support Department.....it is a Fantasy made up by eBay.

 In all the many times during the last 10 years I have been with eBay have I ever gotten a solution to my problem from an eBay Support Department person - or talked to an eBay Trained Technician. Just look at how simple the solution is, Victor.....not a  Clearing of Cache, not enabling Javascript,  not my Browser, not my operating system, not my Fire Wall, not my Antivirus software, not my spyware detection software, not any programs I have running on your computer when you attempt to access eBay.....etcetera, etcetera, etcetera......just  a simple eBay Rule:

"Once an item has been sold you cannot revise certain things in your listing".

Be sure to write that down in your Book of Answers - it might come in handy sometime.

I surely hope that YOU, Victor, in what ever part of the world you are, will someday be able  find a job where you won't have to spend your entire day  reading emails like this one.

Sincerely,
Patricia in California, USA


Customer Service Response #3 - October 1, 2008

eBay Customer Support wrote:
 Dear Patricia,
Thank you for writing eBay in regard to facing difficulty in revising your listing. I am happy to assist you to resolve your issue.

On reviewing you account information i see that you are using MSIE 6.0 Browser. I believe the issue you are experiencing in an browser centric. This can be rectified by clearing your web browser Cache and Cookies.

For clearing cache and cookies for MSIE 7.0 steps are as follows:
1. Click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options.
2. On the Advanced tab, click Reset.
3. In the Reset Internet Explorer Settings dialog box, click Reset.
4. When Internet Explorer 7 finishes restoring the default settings, click Close, and then click OK two times.
5. Close Internet Explorer
6. The next time when you open IE 7.0 the changes will be automatically updated.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

 Sincerely,  Ashley Da.
eBay Customer Support


Patti's Response #4 - October 1, 2008

Dear Ashley Da.

Upon just reviewing your email to me see I am sorry to see that you are
completely confused - because if you reeely reeely looked you would have
seen that I am not using an MSIE 6.0 browser - I am using Mozilla
Firefox 2.  Perhaps you looked at someone else's computer and I am sorry
if now you are all mixed up....again.

It appears that the Support Services People I have been getting email
from are having a problem reading  English. The reason I think this is
because none of the replies I get make any sense. This makes me very
sad.
I can understand how this situation can be frustrating and I regret the
inconvenience caused to you due to this. However, I realize the
importance of getting this resolved for you.

Ashley Da, I am so sorry to frustrate you even more in your attempt to
help me, but as you can see by the email below that I just this morning
sent to Victor A. I had to solve my problem all by myself.  Nobody at
Support Services understands what I am saying!

I am certain that I know what your problem is:  perhaps you are using a
Translator Program....this is not good, because Translator programs are
totally wacked.  They do not translate English correctly into other
languages. Perhaps YOU are using one of these wacky translators?  Oh my
dear Ashley Da, This is not good.

It appears you might be having a problem understanding the email I sent
to Victor A. this morning because your reply also does not have anything
to do with what I described in my email.

I need to ask you a few key questions. I appreciate your patience in
answering them:

1. What store system are you using? (Wal-Mart, Target, or K-Mart?)

2. What type of washing machine do you use? (For example,
General Electric or Sears) You can find this by opening your 
kitchen door and looking at the front of your machine.

3.  Do you have a pet? If yes, please give further details (cat, dog,
gold fish).

4.  Are you running a fever from a virus?

5.  Do you watch any Spy movies on your computer?

6. Lastly, can you please tell me what running shoes you wear when you
work at your computer?

Once I receive this additional information, I will be happy to pass it
on to our Experts.  We will work to get your translating problem solved
for you as quickly as possible.

For immediate assistance, you also have the option of contacting our
Live Chat team, but I doubt if that will do much good, because Live Help
will just tell you to contact Technical Support, which I already did and
you can see how much good THAT did.

It is my pleasure to be of assistance with your problem understanding
emails. I know you are trying really hard to do your very best.  I will
be glad to help you in the future anyway I can.

Below is the copy of the email I sent to Victor A. this morning.  It
will show you what you missed the first time.

And if you get terribly stressed I sincerely recommend you go to this
link and stay a while - it will solve all of your problems:

http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/

Sincerely,
Patricia Bu.


Edit Note: Deleted Copy and Paste of  previous email to Victor.

Customer Service Response #4 - October 2, 2008

Dear eBay Member, 

Thank you for writing eBay.

I'm sorry, but based on the information you provided I wasn't able to
determine the exact nature of the problem you're having.

If you will reply to this message with a detailed explanation of your
problem, I'll be glad to help you or forward your message to the right
person. If you're trying to report a member or listing, please also
include the member's user ID or item number.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,
Harry T.

eBay Customer Support.


Editor's Note: No more friendly first name greeting. It is now back to the anonnymous eBay Member  

Patti's Response #5 - October 2, 2008
Dear Harry T.,

Thank you for writing to me in regard to facing the problem you are having while trying to determine the exact nature of the problem I was having but no longer have because I found a solution to the problem that I was having through no help whatsoever from eBay Technical Support.

I understand your concern and I am happy to assist you to resolve your issue.

(a) FIRSTLY: It seems the issue you are experiencing is an inability to read and understand the written English word. This can be rectified by clicking on this link:

http://www.purpleslinky.com/Humor/Life/How-To-Read-English-Instantly-in-13-Steps.89586

Going to this link will help you with your English grammar and phrasing:

http://www.say-it-in-english.com/Lessons.html

To make sure you are correctly interpreting all of the emails I sent to eBay Technical Support from September 26 to October 2, 2008, you may want to check the Translator settings for your Browser.

To check your translations please click on the link below:

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/

Enter my emails in the correct box and then enter the name of the language you wish to translate English to.
Once you have completed these steps, you should be able to determine the exact nature of the problem you're having.

(b) SECONDLY: If the problem still persist please clear your browser's Cache and bake some cookies.

Here is a good recipe for Chocolate Chip cookies:

http://www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/detail.aspx?ID=18476

Once you have reviewed the information given to you at the links above, if it does not help you with your problem I'll be glad to help you some more or forward your message to the right person.

It is with great pleasure that I have included copies of all my previous emails to and from eBay Technical Support from September 26 to October 2, 2008.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing Me.

Sincerely,
Patricia B.


Customer Service Response #5 - October 2, 2008

Dear Patricia,
Thank you for writing eBay in regard to facing difficulty while revising
both your items on eBay.

I understand your question and want to quickly and responsively resolve
your issue. In this case, since you are not able to revise your
listings, then you may consider ending your auction early and relisting
it after making the required changes.

For your convenience, I have provided below with steps on how to end
your listing early and how to relist your item.

If you can't complete your listing, you can end it early in most
situations. If you have bids, you'll need to cancel them first. Or you
can end your listing early to sell it to the high bidder.

-- Please Note --
If there are fewer than 12 hours left in the listing and you have any
bids, you won't be able to end the listing. Instead, you'll need to
cancel all the bids. I recommend that you explain the problem to the
bidders -- otherwise it can be very frustrating for them.

Here's how to end a listing early:

1. Go to:

http://pages.ebay.com/help/sell/end_early.html

2. Click the "End My Listing Early form" link. You may need to sign in.
3. Type your Item number, and click the "Continue" button.
4. If there were no bids on your item, go to Step 6.
5. If there are bids on your item and less than 12 hours left in your
listing, you can only choose to "Sell item to high bidder(s) and end
listing early." If there are more than 12 hours left, you can choose to
"Cancel bids and end listing early."
6. Select the reason that you're ending your listing early.
7. Click the "Submit" button to end your listing.

Because your listing fees aren't refundable, you may want to find a way
to keep your listing on the site. It may be possible for you to revise
your listing instead of ending it.

If there are at least 12 hours left before the listing ends and you
don't have any bids (or all the bids have been retracted), you can edit
any part of your listing. (However, you won't be able to change the
format, such as changing from an auction-style listing to a Store
Inventory listing. You also won't be able to remove listing features,
such as Bold and List in Two Categories.)

Here's how to revise your listing:

1. Click "My eBay" at the top of most eBay pages. You may need to sign
in.
2. Click the "Selling" link in the "My eBay Views" column on the left.
3. Click the listing that you want to revise.
4. Click the "Revise your listing" link.
5. Make your changes, and then click the "Submit Revisions" button.

To cancel bids, please follow these steps:

1. Click "site map" near the top of most eBay pages.
2. In the middle column, under "Selling Activities,' click "Cancel Bids
on Your Listing."
3. Enter the item number, the user ID of the member whose bid you're
canceling, and a reason for the cancellation.
4. Click the "cancel bid" button.

When your listing is canceled or your item doesn't sell, it's removed
from the eBay site and appears in your My eBay Unsold view.

To relist:
1. Click My eBay at the top of most eBay pages.
2. Go to the Unsold view in your My eBay.
3. Select the item to relist.
4. Select Relist from the Action column pull-down menu.
5. Review your listing content, make any changes, and re-submit your
listing.

Durations of longer than seven days may incur a fee and change some
upgrade and Insertion Fees. Your listing fee subtotal appears in the
"Your fees so far" section at the bottom of the relisting and reviewing
forms.

When you relist an item for the first time and it sells, you may be
credited for the Insertion Fee (for auction-style, not Fixed Price
listings).

To see how to relist your item and qualify for the Insertion Fee credit,
go to:
http://pages.ebay.com/help/sell/relist.html

We are committed to making your eBay experiences pleasant and
fulfilling.

Sincerely,
Priscilla K.

eBay Customer Support


Editor's Note:  Back to a first name basis.
Unlike eBay's Superb Customer Support, we are not available 24/7 to deal with eBay's issues. We were gone over the weekend so she didn't respond until this morning.

Patti's Response #6 - October 6, 2008

Message: Dear Priscilla K.

I also understand YOUR question and want to quickly and responsively resolve this issue, so I will review with you the exceptionally succinct and most helpful correspondence from the Expert Technicians at Customer Support Service.

I have copied the quotes EXACTLY as they came to me from your Esteemed eBay Support Team Member's emails and have not altered their quirky little grammatical idiosyncrasies which I find so adorable!

1. September 26, 2008 from Live Help: "Your problem is most peculiar!"

2. September 26, 2008 from Jason P. L.: "It seem the issue you are experiencing is an Browser Centric."

3. October 1, 2008 from Victor A.: "I regret the inconvenience caused to you due to this. Do you have a firewall? For immediate assistance, you also have the option of contacting our Live Chat team."

4. October 1, 2008 from Ashley Da.: "I am happy to assist you to resolve your issue. i see that you are using MSIE 6.0 Browser. I believe the issue you are experiencing in an browser centric."

5. October 2, 2008 from Harry T.: "If you will reply to this message with a detailed explanation of your problem, I'll be glad to help you or forward your message to the right person."

I was also delighted to receive this personal message from eBay on October 1, 2008: "Valued Customer, how is eBay doing? Take a 1 minute survey and let us know." eBay is so sweet! I took the Survey and let them know how eBay is doing!

I am committed to making your eBay employment pleasant and fulfilling and am anxiously awaiting your evaluation of the above.

Sincerely,

Patricia B.


Customer Service Response #6 - October 7, 2008

Dear Patricia,

Thank you for writing eBay in regard to your concern.

I'm sorry, but based on the information you provided I wasn't able to
determine the exact nature of the problem you're having.

If you will reply to this message with a detailed explanation of your
problem, I'll be glad to help you or forward your message to the right
person. If you're trying to report a member or listing, please also
include the member's user ID or item number.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,
Aron B.

eBay Customer Support

This last email from "eBay Customer Support" pretty much finishes it.
We believe we have made our point with this series of emails and it is time to move on.
(We bore easily and this could probably go on forever.)  If eBay hasn't put a real or intelligent person on this by now, they never will.
Thank you all for your feedback and encouragement.
Patti and Jerry Burt
(pjburt and jburtphotos)

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